It’s been five years since I’ve actively searched for a job. The past six months have reminded me of the emotions of finding a new job.

I felt joyful at first because I was finding tons of jobs I was interested in. That joy doubled when I realized it was at a company I thought I’d enjoy working for. Then there’s the excitement when I get an email requesting a phone interview. A few days after the phone interview, I receive an invite to an in-person (or zoom) interview, so at this point, Im kind of feelin’ yourself. Later Im notified that Im moving to the next round of interviews. Im usually hyped by this point!

However, after a few rounds of interviews, everything goes silent. I reach out and don’t get a response. I patiently wait because these things take time, right? Anyway, I continue applying for jobs. I think Im a great match. Another week goes by, and I finally get an email:

“thank you for taking the opportunity to speak with us, however [insert stereotypical rejection language]. Even though you weren’t selected, we enjoyed learning more about you and your experience! We will keep you on file…blah, blah, blah.”

Damn. How disappointing. I contacted the recruiter for feedback and received something vague: “you interviewed really well, but there was someone better qualified,” or “we just decided to go a different route.” Now my mind is racing, replaying the entire interview in my head and overanalyzing every moment:

• Did I say something wrong? Did I express myself clearly?
• Did I seem confident? Was I too confident?!
• Did I move my hands too much? Did I make the right amount of eye contact?
• I hope they don’t reject me because of my age/gender/race…

This process continues for weeks/months.

I said all that to say this: I am six months into searching for a job and am tired. I’m sad and my self-esteem and confidence have locked themselves in a room and refuse to come out.

The job search required a lot of time and a lot of energy. Every job requires you to tweak your resume and cover letter. Then there is the process of researching the company, prepping for the job interviews, and sending thank you emails. It’s exhausting. The longer the search last, the more you start to doubt yourself.

When I feel hopeless while Im job searching, I do a few things.

In the beginning, I left interviews feeling pleased with myself. Now I leave with my stomach in knots and my thoughts racing at 100 miles per minute. I feel stressed and uncomfortable. To keep me from slipping into pessimism, I have a few safety nets set up to catch me.

Do something I enjoy

Job searching is not fun, yall. Job hunting is a slow process and can make you frustrated. To combat this, I spent time doing things I liked. I watched thrillers, I read, and I played video games.

Take breaks

I don’t job search every day. When I did, I noticed I saw the same jobs repeatedly. I started to spend 4 days a week job searching/applying. Some advice states you should job search daily, but I found it unproductive.

Seek out inspirational stories

Linkedin can be a cesspool of nauseous positivity. The fake stories of “as a man laid dying on the sidewalk this morning, I bought him a breakfast burrito and a hot coffee. Because of this, I missed the bus and had to reschedule my job interview. When I went to the interview, the dead man from the sidewalk was propped up in the CEO seat, still holding the burrito, and I got hired!!”

I keep myself motivated by reading success stories of people who were once in my shoes.

I work this at the beginning of the month, and it’s been sitting in my drafts. As of today I have a job offer! So If you are experiencing the sadness and desperation that creeps up on you when you have been job searching for months, I feel you! Take a break and go easy on yourself.